I was maybe 11 or 12 years old, and I had the 12 gauge right there and ammo free as a bird. Guns and ammo were everywhere. You hoped I would shoot myself, but I am too strong. It was you I wanted to kill. I was going to wait for you to lie down for sleep, then barge in, and as you sat up, blow your guts out your back and onto the wall. I would have then shot mother too, since she propagated the abuse, enabled you to beat me and her, some sicko twisted Jesus Christ story. Chances are, I would have killed my brother too, since he was in on the abuse and never tried to stop it. You know, I think about it a lot, but I am too strong for you, and the rest of the family. I have overcome you all. I am on my way to success. Finally! And that bothers you the most. You could not subdue me. I have risen above you. I kick your ass every day. I will rest my feet on your head.